Monday, December 12, 2016

The Dog Ate My Assignment (APIWATWOL #6)

#6 in my "A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words or Less" series. (For a description of how this series works, see installment #1)

Confession time. I really REALLY wanted to cheat when I pulled today's random photo for my APIWATWOL project, toss it back in the box and pull a different one. But I didn't. Because cheaters never win and winners never--oh never mind. Anyway, this photo is from the fall of 1980. And how the hell am I supposed to remember details from 1980?

At least I know that it was taken during my one ill-fated semester at Gettysburg College, the school I chose based on the fact that: (1) they had a later application deadline and I didn't think to start applying to colleges until January of my senior year in high school (d'oh!), and (2) it was the best school I got into, and (3) Gary, one year ahead of me at our high school, went there and he was smart (and possibly cute and I might've possibly had an ever so small crush on him which I might've--not saying I did--acted on once matriculated at Gettysburg). Anyway, I went to Gettysburg.

But I had this Home Town Honey back in South Jersey, who was five years my senior and had recently graduated college. Rather than reassure me that feelings of homesickness were normal for college freshmen, my HTH instead complained about missing me and why didn't I take the train home this weekend even though I had come home last weekend too. So, I took the damn train back home to spend the weekend with the HTH. Pretty much every weekend. Which meant that all my new pals at Gettysburg were getting to know one another better outside the classroom while I was busy playing housewife in a crappy apartment in South Jersey.

To my credit, and despite my complete lack of engagement at Gettysburg College, I do remember that the girl in this photo is named Cindy and that she was my best friend that semester. Although for the life of me I can't recall her last name. Or anything we did together. Or why I liked her (though I'll bet she had a strong sense of sarcasm if I'd designated her my BF). And since I can't recall a thing about Cindy beyond her first name, I decided I'd write about a few of the memorabilia that are pinned to the cork board in the upper righthand corner of the photo, small items I'd displayed on my dorm room wall as reminders of who I was--or at least who I wanted others to think I was.

But here's the thing. You can't see any of those memorabilia, can you? Or the cork board. Because I set this photo aside for the sake of procrastinating for, like, an hour. Tops. And when I returned to my writing spot to dig into my self-imposed assignment, the damn dog (yes, that cute little "fuck you, cancer" pup featured in installment #3 of APIWATWOL) had sunk his teeth into my assignment. Literally. And eaten the damn cork board. Figuratively.

Which means I had nothing to write about.

Which means I got out of this assignment.

Which means that RuPaul isn't a bad dog at all. In fact, quite the opposite.

Good boy, RuPaul. Good boy!

Happy to help, Mom!

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